Alright... That was a moment of weakness

The previous post was one to just let some stuff out. I am feeling mildly alone, sad, confused. But on the other hand life is great that's what I'm going to focus on! I got to see my friends today, I was greeted with hugs, and "I missed you"'s from every which way. It was great to know I was actually missed. All my teachers asked about my trip and I had a pretty good day back. We sang happy birthday to Mrs. Van Dyke because tomorrow is her birthday and we like to celebrate for a week, we presented her with lots of yummy treats and even made her wear the sombrero she always makes us wear on our b-days. (Yes the yearbook staffers were on hand with the Nikon getting all this on camera) Music Appreciation didn't let me down either, it was absolutely hilarious the amount of work we got done in there. (none! But the student teacher was pretty humorous- I haven't laughed like that in days!) Then there was bonding/work time with my yearbookers! I love those kids!!! Lucy and I came up with a new themed feature for her prom layout and I really think she will do a good job. Yay!!! Oh oh oh then I went to the Jr. High and tutored a child. I was kind of nervous because I had no clue who this boy was going to be but he turned out to be fabulous and we get along great! I'm going to work with him tomorrow after school again as well as go to work at the radio station. My life is great, I just have some worries!

Home again...

Oh the places you'll go, the places you'll go. When you are a senior in high school that is. It's spring, meaning making our way to our campus of choice (we think) and learning if we click with the school that is to be our home away from home. Clicking with mine was easy, they have everything I need plus some. The problem? I'm in Illinois and it's in Philadelphia. Money isn't a factor of decision, the only problem is can I do it? Can I move away and still make it? Hopefully I will have some help from my best friend when I get out there, but that is also in the works. Life is really sad. Love can be described so many different ways: You love your family, cat, favorite food... but then there is being in love. What does that mean? To each their own is how I think of it. For me it's the can't wait to talk to them, missing them, just being happy to be with them, talking, touching, kissing all optional- all you have to do is be there. Be there for me when I need you, talk to me about your life, make me feel important... then stand by as I fall for you. Not that I do so instantly with everyone. Just one, one person, one boy, my boy... I hope that all ends the way that is best for everyone but I can't make decisions for anyone but myself. I'm just afraid of losing that one person, the one person who cares... I'm only eighteen, I know I have to meet people and live- I'm not asking for a promise to last forever. I just want to live in the now. I want my chance, I want to prove that I can do what he wants and make him even happier than he is now. I want a chance, that's all. A chance to prove that believing in love is sometimes enough to overcome a fear of not knowing what love actually is. There is no set definition of love as it varies from perspective to perspective. Just give us believers the benefit of the doubt and give us a shot.